Mega Man and Protoman were sitting on the front steps of Dr. Light's Lab. They had been kicked out of the house by Roll. She had told them to go watch grass grow after listening to them complain about being bored. They were now staring intently at a few blades of grass, hoping for some sort of action.
"Hey Proto?" Mega Man asked.
"Not now, they're moving..." Protoman said.
"It's called 'wind', Proto."
"Nuts, I thought they were actually going to DO something for a change."
"They're plants, Proto. What do you expect them to do? Tap dance, maybe? Or maybe you think they're going to put on a musical about two bioroids who have been sitting in front of Dr. Light's Lab for two hours doing ABSOLUTLEY NOTHING!"
"Well, no, but Phantom of the Opera would be nice..." Proto went off into his own thoughts about which of the blades of grass should be cast as who. "That tall one would be a good Christine..." he mused. Mega waited patiently for a moment, and then tapped his brother on the shoulder.
"What?" Proto said.
"The Mailman's coming."
"How do you know?"
"Because he's standing beside you." Mega said calmly.
Proto practically jumped out of his armor. "Uh... hi... how can I help you?" Proto said after being repeatedly nudged in the back several times by his brother who was cowering behind him, occasionally peeping over his brother's shoulder at the blue uniformed robot who carried a sack of mail.
"Just delivering the mail," the robot said, handing Proto a pile of magazines, letters, and advertisements.
Mega Man and Protoman went into the house and started walking towards the room where Dr. Light normally was, his lab.
Protoman started browsing through the mail. "Hmmm... junk... junk... junk... MINE!!" Proto shrieked, dropping all but one package from the mail onto the floor and running towards his room. Mega could hear the door slam from down the hall.
Mega picked up the discarded mail and entered Dr. Light's lab. "Mail," he said as he entered, handing the pile to Dr. Light.
"Why, thank-you Mega Man." Dr. Light said and started ruffling through the pile. He threw several things in the trash and set aside a small pile. He handed a letter back Mega. "Here's a letter for you Mega Man." Dr. Light sorted through the pile some more, "and here's a magazine for Roll." He handed Mega the magazine.
"Thanks, Dr. Light." Mega said and headed off towards Roll's room. He glanced at Roll's magazine, and suddenly wished that he hadn't. It had a hot pink cover and was appropriately titled "Pink".
He reached Roll's room and knocked. When he entered he found himself in a room decorated in Roll's favorite color, pink. There was so much pink that Mega was forced to squint. The walls were pink, the carpet was pink, even her furniture was pink, including a pink computer. There were even many shades of pink that Mega never even knew existed. Roll was lounging on her pink bed listening to a pink walk-man. She was humming to herself.
Mega tip-toed over and shouted "BOO!"
He succeeded in making Roll jump about a foot in the air and off the bed. "Why'd you do that!?!" Roll demanded in a half-shout.
"You have a magazine." Mega stated innocently.
"OOOOHHHH!!!" Roll let out a girlish squeal of delight, instantly forgetting the near-heart attack her brother had given her seconds before. She snatched the magazine from him and jumped on the bed and immediately became engrossed in the magazine.
Mega went next door to Proto's room. Proto was hovering over something that he was placing in his drawers. His room was mainly red and yellow with a little grey and other assorted colors. He had a computer in one corner, his bed in another, his built-in closet in a third, and his bookshelves, dresser, and tables taking up most of the other wall space, except where there was a window.
"Whatcha' doin'?" Mega inquired.
Proto whirled around to face his brother. "Nothing... nothing at all."
"Really, what are you doing?" Mega insisted.
"If you must know," Proto sighed. "I'm putting away my latest shipment of scarves."
"Scarves? As in you have more than one?" Mega asked dubiously.
"That's right. I need extra ones in case they get dirty or torn or eaten by a random dinosaur. What, did you think I had just one?"
"Well, yeah. I mean, I've never seen you take it off. It sort of seemed like it was permanently glued to your neck."
"Oh. What's that in your hands?"
"Umm, a letter or something. I haven't opened it yet."
"Well then OPEN it!! The suspense is killing me!"
"But I just told you about it."
"Exactly, now get moving." Proto shoved his brother out into the hall and across into Mega's room. It was like a normal room, only with blue as the main color. He too had a computer, and the same basic stuff Proto did. Mega sat on the bed, and slowly started opening the letter, trying not to rip anything.
After about two seconds of this Proto grabbed the envelope and tore it in half. Out floated three tickets and a note.
The note said: Mega Man, we would be greatly pleased if you would attend the grand opening of WilyWorld. We have included two extra tickets, so you may bring two guests with you. Sincerely, Mr. Slash E. Manigan.
"I think our boredom problem has been solved." Proto said enthusiastically.
"I hope you two weren't planning on going anywhere without me." Roll said from the doorway.
The two brothers exchanged glances and groaned in unison.
Mega Man, Protoman, and Roll got out of the public bus they were riding. They were dressed in street clothes of their respective colors, Mega wearing a dark blue shirt and blue jean shorts; Proto wearing his yellow scarf, sunglasses, a red shirt, and blue jean shorts; and Roll in what she called a 'pretty pink dress,' and what Proto and Mega thought was 'way too much pink.' They were at one of the many bus stops inside the WilyWorld parking lot. They were at one of the bus stops near the end of the parking lot. Unfortunatly, the park was on the opposite side of the parking lot.
"Umm... I don't see it anywhere..." Mega said, confused.
"I TOLD you we shouldn't have gotten off the bus so early, you idjits!" Roll complained.
Proto looked around for a second. "I think it's that way," he said, pointing.
"How do you know?" Roll asked.
"I don't know, maybe the signs that say 'WilyWorld that-a-way.'" Proto explained.
"Oh."
They headed off in the direction the signs pointed.
Half an hour later they were still walking, following the signs.
"Are we there yet?" Proto asked.
"No." Mega answered.
Two minutes later:
"Are we there yet?"
"No."
"Oh."
Two minutes after that:
"Are we there yet?"
"No."
"Are we there yet?"
"No."
"Are we there yet?"
"No."
"Are we there yet?"
"No."
"Are we there yet?"
"No, now stop asking me!!" Mega Man screamed at Proto.
"Aww, nuts." Proto complained. He turned to Roll. "Are we there yet?"
Another half and hour later they saw a line ahead.
"Yipee!! I think we found it!!" Roll screached with girlish delight.
Mega tapped the last person in line, which happened to be a tall man with long white hair, glowing eyes, and a 6' long sword. He wore black clothes and shoulder pads. The man turned around and looked down at Mega Man, Protoman, and Roll.
"Umm... is this the line for WilyWorld?" Mega asked timidly.
The man simply nodded. They got in line after the man.
Just then Proto noticed the Mailman walking towards Mega Man.
"Ummm... Mega?" Proto said.
"What?" Mega asked.
"The Mailman's coming."
"What's he doing here?"
"Don't ask me. Do I look like an expert on mail delivery?"
"Well... If you squint a little and cock your head sideways..."
"Ha ha. Very funny."
"Excuse me, I have mail for Mega Man. Is he here?" The Mailman interupted.
"He's standing right there." Mega Man said, pointing at Protoman.
"Okey dokey. Here's your mail." The Mailman then handed a letter to Protoman.
Mega Man tried to take the letter from Proto, but failed. "Will you give me my letter?"
"No, it's my letter now." Proto answered.
"In that case, look over there. Emerald Weapon's eating a car." Mega said, pointing over Proto's shoulder.
"Where?" Proto asked, looking around frantically.
Mega Man used the distraction to steal the letter and open it.
"Hey! That wasn't very nice." Proto exclaimed. "Stealing mail is a federal offence."
Mega Man was too engrosed in the letter to answer Proto. "Hey, Proto. Guess what? The people who run the park are having a party for me in the Fun House! Isn't that nice of them!" Mega said.
"Let me see that letter. I don't believe it." Proto said and grabbed the letter from Mega. After reading it he, shook his head. "That's just stupid. Who would throw a party for you when everyone know's I'm the epitome of coolness!!"
Just then a tall reploid with red and white armor and long blond hair, Zero, appeared out of thin air. "No you're not! I AM!" He exclaimed.
A small white moogle appeared next to the reploid. "No. I am!" The moogle said. "I am Mog, therefore I am cool."
"You're all wrong. I am." This was said by a boy with spikey red hair who was weilding the Mana Sword.
Proto rolled his eyes and said, "Yeah, right. You don't even have a name."
"I do to!" The boy exclaimed. "It's just that the people of SquareSoft didn't like it, so they left it out."
"Oh, really! And what is this unknown name. It's probably not a cool as mine. Nothing strikes fear into the heart of Mavericks like Zero." The blond reploid said.
"Oh yes," Proto muttered. "I know nothing strikes fear in my heart like Nothing."
"My name is... umm... umm... Terrance! That's it! Terrance! Now who would want to leave out a cool name like that, huh?" The boy said.
"I'm afraid I have you all beat." The new voice was from another red haired boy, Chrono.
"You're all out of your league." This was from an elf named Link.
A blond man named Yohji, wearing a long blue trenchcoat with white crosses and a funny looking watch, entered. "I'm hot and women can't resist me, so therefore I am the coolest!"
"Ah, but I am even hotter, so I'm the coolest." This was said by a blond cowboy named Irvine holding a gun.
"You're all idiots! I am the coolest." This from a red haired man named Aya who cooly leveled the Glare of Death, Doom, and Destruction (TM) on everyone in sight.
More and more characters kept appearing. Mega Man, Protoman, and Roll used the arrival of Aya to beat a hasty retreat away from the arguing crowd.
An hour and several guest appearances later they finally reached the gate. A man who looked an awful lot like Cuts Man wearing a cheap blond wig was taking tickets.
"Tickets please." The man said.
Mega handed over three tickets and they were allowed inside. They walked into the crowd and looked around. There were all kinds of rides, from ferris wheels to fun houses to roller coasters. Roll immediatly screached and ran off to look at something only she could find interesting.
"Hey, over there." Proto said, pointing to the fun house. It was shaped like Dr. Wily's head, with the enterance being his mouth. "Let's go check out this party." Proto began pulling his brother towards the head.
"I don't know... the thought of going into something that looks like Dr. Wily's head isn't exactly very appealing to me..." Mega shuddered from the thought of it.
"Roll's coming..." Proto said.
"Then again..." Mega said and pulled Proto into the opening.
They walked up a large red ramp and into a cylinder-shaped, rainbow colored hallway. A voice over the loud-speaker said: "Welcome to the Fun House, Mega and Proto. The party's in the center.... if you make it that far..." The voice started cackling.
"Maybe it would have been better to stay with Roll." Proto said as the hallway started spinning.
"You know, I could get to like that..." Protoman said as he and Mega Man stumbled out of the cylinder they were just in.
"We are NOT doing that again!" Mega said, clutching his stomach.
Proto stuck his tounge out. "You're no fun!"
"How about we concentrate on figuring out where we're going?"
Proto pouted. "I'd rather go back in there," he said, pointing to the rotating cylinder they had just left.
"There'll be cake at the party..."
Protoman's eyes lit up. "Really?"
Mega Man nodded and grinned. "Yep."
Proto grabbed his brother's hand and pulled him into the fun house. After racing down the hallway several meters, dragging his brother the entire way, Proto stopped at an intersection. "Which way?"
Mega studdied the two. "There doesn't seem to be much difference to me, besides the colors." One of the halls was painted a deep blue with lime-green stripes while the other was hot pink with orange polka-dots.
Mega walked into the blue hallway a few steps. A loud bang caused him to turn and see stars. After a few seconds, he sat up off of the floor and looked at the blue with lime-green stars on the wall that had sprung up behind him. He banged on one of the stars, shouting for his brother but only heard silence in return. He was about to try again when the floor opened beneath him and he was pitched into a swirl of lime-green and blue.
Mega Man landed in a room painted entirely pink. The walls were pink, the couch was pink, the table was pink, the chickens were pink, the flowers were pink. Mega blinked and turned back to the chickens. Pink chickens? he thought. Now I've seen everything. A passing pink mongoose made him quickly take back that last thought.
He suddenly noticed his sister arranging a pink vase of pink flowers on a pink table. "Roll, what are you doing here?"
"Decorating." Roll replied matter-of-factly, as if even pink mongooses knew that.
"I can see that, but why here?"
"Because it was UGLY! All the halls were this putrid yellow color that reminded me of the last time you tried to feed Rush week-old cheese."
"That was not my fault! It was Proto's idea."
"Sure it was." Roll nodded, and continued painting.
"One question though. Where do the flowers and the sofa fit in?" Mega said, motioning to the furniture sitting pristinely in the middle of the room.
"After I painted that half of the room, I though it needed something more. You know, to sorta accent the sheer pinkness of it," Roll replied as if it made perfect sense.
Mega Man left Roll to her decorating and continued on into the fun house.
Protoman found himself at yet another intersection, this time a seven-way one. After he had lost Mega, he had walked down the only remaining hallway until he came to this intersection. He stood in the center of the room, debating which way to go. Each of the hall was painted uniquely. The one he had emerged from was pink with orange polka-dots. Another was yellow with red clowns on it, but he opted against it because he was afraid of clowns. The hall next to it was green with darker green paint splaters, and the one next to that white with rainbow stripes. Another was purple with white stars and another yellow with blue cars on it. The final halway was painted black with red trees.
After a moment of thought, he decided how to pick which hall to go into. He closed his eyes and spun around in a circle. With his eyes closed, he ran forward until he hit a wall. He opened his eyes to see that he was still in the same room. He repeated the process nine times until he managed to hit a hallway. He opened his eyes and saw that he was in the hallway he had entered from. He trudged back to the center of the room. After twelve more tries and two mild concusions, he ended in a new hallway. He happily continued on his merry way.
Mega ran through the oddly colored hallways. After every couple feet he would come to a new room. He had been in a room full of Jello, a room with holes in it, a room made of cheese, a post office, the dairy section of a supermarket, a bowling alley, and a room full of clowns. He was getting quite tired of walking, and the lack of human company made him talk to himself.
"Why is this fun house so whacked up? Can't it have been normal, like with mirrors or something?"
"No, of course not. That would have made sense, and we know things don't make sense."
"That's true, but really... Jello? I still have some stuck in my shoe... and it's squishy!"
"I like Jello."
"I never said I didn't, just not in my shoe."
"How about in your hair?"
"No, thank you!"
"Aww.. you're no fun."
"So I've been told. I'm beginning to think of taking it up as a hobby."
Mega Man pause as he entered a new room. This one had a large hole in the floor. There was no other possible way to go besides down the hole. Mega shruged and stepped off the edge. "I really need to get this Jello out of my shoe."
Protoman was having similar luck, sans Jello shoes. He was currently trying to run up a down escalator, completely ignoring the up escalator next to him because it had insulted him.
"I am not fat!" Proto shouted at the offending escalator. " Just because your mother was a hampster and your father smelled of elderberries is no reason to call me fat. I'll have you know you're ten times the size I am. My mother was a fax machince and my father runs a Psychic Hotline, but you don't see me insulting others, do you? I though not!"
Proud that he had proven to the escalator that he was indeed not fat, Proto barely noticed the fact that he was slowly slipping down the escalator. The world went dark as he tumbled through a hole in the floor that had convinently opened beneath him.
At the bottom of the tunnel, he collided with something hard that smelled vaguely of lime Jello.
"Hello, Protoman," said the lump beneath him.
Proto jumped off his brother, startled. "Why do you smell like lime Jello?"
"Don't ask." Mega said, stepping carefully as he got to his feet.
"Hey Mega..." Proto said, staring over Mega's shoulder at the room they were in.
"What?" Mega turned to see what his brother was pointing at and gasped in surprise. The room was filled with Robot Master, all of the old ones and eight new ones.
"Uh oh...." Mega said.
"Welcome to the party, Chicken-wuss." Dr. Wily said, stepping out from behind two of his Robot Masters.
Suddenly, a blonde man with a gunblade ran into the room. "Chicken-wuss? Where?" He glared around the room. "Fujin, Raijin, do you see that idiot anywhere?"
A muscular man entered the room, followed closely by a white haired woman with an eyepatch.
"Naw, Seifer, he ain't here," answered the muscular black man.
"ABSENT," states the woman.
Seifer turned to glare at everyone in the room. "If Zell's not here, then who lied and said he was?"
"PIPSQUEEK!" The woman, Fujin, said as she pointed at Proto.
The three turned to glare at Proto, who promptly hid behind his brother. "Save me, big brother."
"What! You're older than I am! How can I be your older brother?" Mega said, indignantly.
"Don't argue! They're gonna kill me."
The three newcomers had been slowly advancing on the brothers when two new voices interupted them.
"Yellow? How can you like that disgusting color? It's dull, it's unoriginal, it's so ordinary! Pink is the absolute best!"
"No way! Pink is so last season. Yellow is in!"
"What are you talking about? You've got it all wrong!" Everyone turned as Roll entered with a girl in a yellow dress. "And pink goes with so many things..." Roll trailed off as she realized her friend was no longer listening. Instead, she was staring at Proto's scarf.
The new girl ran up to Proto shrieking. "That scarf is so awesome. Can I have it? Please?" The girl danced around Proto, admiring his yellow scarf.
"No way! I only have 56 others exactly like it." Proto said protectively.
"But..."
"Mine!"
"Selfie, how nice to see you. Where's Zell?" Seifer asked the girl.
"LOCATION." Fujin adds.
Selfie turned, noticing Fujin, Raijin, and Seifer for the first time. "Oh, Seifer! What are you doing here? Zell's outside with Squall and Rinoa. They're all dreaming about Sir Laguna."
Seifer grimaced. "Dreaming about a guy? I never pictured the chicken-wuss as that type!"
"DISGUSTING!" Fujin added.
"Hey! Sir Laguna's awesome! And there's nothing wrong with dreaming about guys, expecially hunky ones like Sir Laguna." Selfie sighed and drooled as visions of Laguna drifted through her head.
"Yo, where are they?" Raijin asked.
"LEAD!" Fujin commanded.
"Alright, alright. Don't be so uptight. Follow me." With that she lead the three back out the way she came.
Wily stared at the retreating wierdos. "Anyways... Allow me to introduce you to my new robots: Cheese Man, Rat Man, Butterfly Man, Firehydrant Man, Spleen Man, Comet Man, Phone Man, and Mail Man," he said and pointed to each as their name was called. "Along with several of my old ones."
Proto burst out laughing. "Wily, those have got to be some of the stupidest robots you've ever created."
Phone Man whimpered, "I don't think so..."
"Well, excuse me! It's getting hard to come up with new Robot Masters after so long. I mean, there are only so many things you can use as names. And besides I was a little pressed for time. It's not easy to try to take over the world AND manufacture casino games at the same time."
"You make casino games?" Proto asked.
"Of course. What, did you think I got money for robot parts out of thin air?"
"Actually I thought you stole those."
"I have to pay for electric as well. It's hard to steal that."
"True."
"Like I was saying, I make casino games, Light runs a Psychic Hotline, and Cossack runs a walnut plantation."
"Walnuts?"
"Yes, walnuts."
"That explains why Cossack is so nuts."
"Exactly. Anyways, getting back to business." Wily paused for a moment and then continued. "We'll see who's the stupidest robots!" He then motioned for the robots to attack.
"Prepare to face the wrath of the postal service!" Mail Man said.
Before anyone could fire a shot, the man in black from the line jumped into the room.
"Who are you?" Wily demanded.
"The name's Sephiroth." The man said.
"I think you're in the wrong game." Wily said.
Sephiroth meerly shruged and drew his sword. "Death to all Chocobos!!" He screamed and hacked the Robot Masters into sushi. Following behind him was a small Tonberry, who randomly poked at things with a Chef's Knife while saying "DOINK!" They both ran off, giggling insanely.
"'Kay, there's one guy I'm not inviting to see the Phantom of the Opera with me and my green grass friends..." Proto said.
"Definite fruit cake." Mega agreed.
"Oooohhhh!! Sushi!!" Roll said.
Proto and Mega exchanged glances. "Uh huh... I wouldn't eat that if I were you." Mega Man said and walked out the door, limping slightly with his Jello filled foot. Proto and Roll followed.
"I have an idea! Let's go back to the fun house entrance and go through it all over again!" Roll exclaimed.
Proto and Mega exchanged a glance and then ran off shrieking in terror.
"What? Was there something wrong with my suggestion?" Roll asked, chasing her brothers into the park.
*Note* This is for those of you who didn't get all the cameos. (Yes, I'm explaining everything.) I hope you all know who Mega, Proto, Roll, Rush, Wily, Light, Cossack, and the Robot Masters are. If not, visit Mandi Paugh's Mega Man Page, the definative place for Mega Man info. (Wonderful author too.) They really don't act like this in the games. Phantom of the Opera is a very famous musical, and Christine's the main female character. The dinosaur thing when Proto talks about his scarves is a reference to Red Draco's wonderful 'Bass is not a Fish' fic where Proto has a little encounter with one of Slash Man's dinosaurs that had escaped. Mega finds his torn scarf and gets just a little mad at Wily. The man in black from the line to get into WilyWorld is Sephiroth, the main villian and final boss of Final Fantasy VII. Emerald Weapon is an optional boss from Final Fantasy VII. Zero is a character in the Mega Man X series. Mog's an optional character from Final Fantasy III. (It's Final Fantasy VI in the japanese order.) Terrance is the main character of Secret of Mana, but he has no set name in the game. You have to name him and the other two main characters. (No, I did not name him that when I played it.) SquareSoft is a popular game company that made Final Fantasy and Secret of Mana, amoung other games. Mevericks are the Robot Masters of Mega Man X. Chrono is the main character of ChronoTrigger, a time-travel RPG. Link is the main hero of the Legend of Zelda game series. Yohji and Aya are two of the four gorgeous florists/assassins in the japanese anime Weiss Kreuz. Irvine, Selfie, Squall, Rinoa, and Zell are all main characters from Final Fantasy VIII. Seifer, Fujin, and Raijin are villans from the same game. Sir Laguna is a character from Final Fantasy VIII. Squall and the others occassionally fall into a dream-like state where they experience everything Laguna does. Cheese Man, Rat Man, Butterfly Man, Firehydrant Man, Spleen Man, Comet Man, Phone Man, and Mail Man are not from the games, they're just sick, twisted creations of my demented mind. Light does not run a psychic hotline. Wily does not manufacture casino games. Cossack does not run a walnut plantation. Trust me, the actual plot of the games was completly ignored when making this. Chocobos are big birds that you can ride around on in the Final Fantasy games. Tonberry's a very nasty random monster from the Final Fantasy games, as well as a Guardian Force you can summon in Final Fantasy VIII. His attack is Chef's Knife where he goes up to an enemy and pokes it with a knife. A cartoon bubble pops up with 'Doink!'. I'm assuming everyone knows what sushi, jello, mongooses, and escalators are. If not, use an encyclopedia.