"I want to know who was in charge of casting! This is just... wrong!" Mega Man X complained.
"Stop whining. At least you don't have to play a girl!" Zero said.
"You're not the one married to a cat! Couldn't they have found a female robot somewhere! Anything would be better than a cat!"
"It could be worse. You could be married to Terrance." Protoman butted in.
Everyone in the room shuddered. "Maybe a cat isn't that bad. I have on question though. How is it supposed to read it's lines?" X asked.
"Umm... I think there's a translator." Mega Man said.
"Okay... I still want to know who wrote the script though. And how he got my address." X said.
"Me too. Oh well, maybe we'll find out later."
"Umm... can we get this rolling? I don't want to be in here any longer than I have to." Zero said.
"When I get my hands on the idjit that locked us in this stupid room I'm gonna..." Bass muttered to himself.
"Umm... X, Tango, and Bass, you're up first." Proto said.
"Who appointed you director?" Zero demanded.
"I did." Proto replied.
"Why should you direct? How about I direct?"
"Umm... no. I'm cooler, therefore I get to direct."
"No you're not. I..."
They were then interrupted by Mega and X walking up. They were both holding rolls of duct tape menacingly.
"If you two continue that converstation, we'll be forced to duct tape your mouths shut." X said calmly.
"And don't think that we won't, cause we will." Mega added. "You know who showed up the last time you got into that conversation."
Again, everyone in the room shuddered.
"Umm... right. You direct, then." Zero said as he walked away.
"Once upon a time, there lived a young couple in a suburban apartment. They've wanted a kid for a while, but the stork hasn't popped in as of yet. Anyways, one of their windows overlooked their neighbor's garden. Now, this wan't one of your run of the mill gardens. No, this was one of those huge, Martha Stewart gardens that has more plants than an encyclopedia. And the plants were a lot better quality that you could get at the supermarket. I mean these plants were so healthy they must have been on steroids or some plant equivalent. Then again, the fact that their neighbor was a witch probably had something to do with the plant's health." Proto narrated.
"Umm... Proto, that's not what the script says..." Mega said.
"Tough, I don't like the script so I'm improvising." Proto said and then continued reading. "Now, one day the wife was looking out this window and she saw this big mother-of-all-radishdom radish and she wanted that sucker. Now she didn't do anything about this for days, until her husband asked her:"
"Umm... what's up, darlin'?" X asked.
"Meow." Tango answered.
"Well, you see there are these awesome looking radishes in our neighbor's yard and I really, really, really, really want one." A voice on a speaker translated for Tango.
"You got all that out of 'meow'?" X asked increduously.
"Yep." The voice said.
"Back on subject, the man, who was slightly fond of his wife, thought to himself:" Proto narrated.
"Well, since she really, really, really, really wants those radishes, I might as well go and get those radishes, otherwise she'll never stop complaining." X said.
"So that night he snuck into his neighbor's garden and went to find a radish for his wife so that she would shut up." Proto said.
"Umm... Proto, there aren't any radishes on the set. Or any other type of plant." X said.
"Fine, then we'll improvise. Use a pear." Proto said, then threw a pear at X.
"Uh... 'kay." X said.
"Then the man grabed a radish and took it back to his house." Proto said. "She then made a lovely salad out of it."
"Meow!" Tango said when X gave him the pear.
"That's not a radish!" The overhead voice said.
"Yes it is." X said.
"Meow." Tango said.
"No, it's not! It's a pear!" The voice said.
"Well according to the almighty director that pear is now a radish." X said.
"Moving along, now that the wife had tasted the radishes she wanted another three times as much as before, which by the way is a whole freakin' lot. And so she nagged her husband until he went to get another. On his way back from getting the pear/radish he saw the witch standing before him. And she screeched at him angrily:" Proto said.
"Are you trying to steal a pear from me?" Bass screeched.
"No, I'm not." X said, hiding the pear behind his back.
"Then what's that behind your back?"
"I don't have anything behind my back."
"Yes, you do. I just saw you hide something behind your back."
"Oh, this?" X said, pulling the pear/radish from behind his back. "This is just a radish."
"No, it's not. It's a pear."
"I'm afraid you're mistaken. It's a radish."
"I think I know the difference between a pear and a radish, and that is a pear!"
"The director said it was a radish."
"Oh, well that explains it. In that case, why are you stealing a radish from my garden?"
"I'm not stealing it, I'm borrowing it."
"Borrowing?"
"Yes, borrowing."
"But you didn't ask me if you could 'borrow' it, so that's stealing."
"I didn't think you'd mind."
"Well, guess what? I do mind."
"Well, I only took it 'cause my wife wouldn't stop nagging me about it."
"Well, if that's the case, you can have as many radishes as you want, but on one condition."
"What's that?"
"You have to give me your first kid."
"Why do you want a kid?"
"Well, you see I've been thinking about starting a collection."
"A collection of children?"
"Yes. It's not such a bad thing. It's not like I'll mistreat your kid or anything."
"Works for me."
"They then drew up legal documents that gave the man and woman's first kid to the witch providing there was no mistreatment. And, when the kid was born, the witch came and collected the kid. The wife was a little miffed about the contract at first until the witch pointed out that if she didn't get the kid the wife's supply of raddishes would be cut off." Proto read from the script.
"Now, this was something the wife didn't want because she had become famous for her radish salads that oddly taste like pears. So she agreed, and the witch took the child, which happened to be a girl."
"The witch named the girl Rapunzel, and Rapunzel grew up happily with no mistreatment. But, when Rapunzel reached age 12 the witch locked Rapunzel up in a tower to keep her away from boys. This tower only had one entrance, a small window. So whenever the witch wanted up she would yell at Rapunzel to let her hair out of the window, and then climbed up her hair. Now, Rapunzel had a huge hunk of hair considering this was a pretty tall tower."
A few years later when Rapunzel was around 18, the King's son happened to be riding in the woods near the tower. He was drawn to the tower by Rapunzel's beautiful voice. He couldn't find a door up to Rapunzel however so he kept coming back day after day trying to find a door, until one day he saw the witch coming. He watched how the witch got up. The after she had left, he said to himself:"
"Since that's the only way up, I'll have to try it. Though that girl could sure use a haircut." Roll said.
"The next day the prince came and tried to get into the tower." Proto said.
"Rapunzel! Let down your hair!" Roll screamed up to the window.
"And so the prince climbed the hair. When Rapunzel saw him she was frightened because she had never seen a man before, and thought it was some odd wild animal. But after he had explained things to her, she thought he was okay. So when he asked her to marry him she thought to herself:" Proto read.
"Well, he may be a little forward, but he is cute so I guess so." Roll said.
"And then she told the prince:" Proto said.
"I'd go with you but I don't know how to get out of here. Next time you come bring some silk, and I'll make a rope and climb down. Then we'll ride off on your horse." Zero said.
"So Rapunzel made the rope, and the witch had no clue until Rapunzel said to her one evening:" Proto said.
"Why are you so slow climbing up, but the prince climbs quicker?" Zero said.
"You wicked child! You've betrayed me by letting the prince up here!" Bass screeched.
"The witch then cut off Rapunzel's hair and then took her and made her live in the desert. Then when the prince came and climbed up. When he saw the witch he jumped off the tower because she was majorly ugly. However when he hit the ground he landed in a thorn bush and scratched his eyes out. He wandered around until he found Rapunzel. When she cried on his eyes, they healed." Proto said.
"And so they went back to the prince's kingdom where the lived almost-happily ever after. Rapunzel and the Prince ended up having a set of twin boys whose names are Proto and Mega. Rapunzel's parents sued the witch for mistreatment of their daughter and won a hefty sum of money along with custody of their daughter. The witch was sentanced to a life in prison for child abuse, attempted murder of the prince, and for running an illegal vegtable garden. The End." Proto said.
"Can we get out now?" Mega said.
"Yes, you can. The door is now unlocked." The translator said.
"One question though, who trapped us in here and made us do this stupid show?" Bass asked.
"He's standing outside the door." The voice answered.
The door opened to reveal Treble.
"Him?" Proto said increduously.
"We were trapped in here by a dog?" Zero said.
Everyone exchanged glances then began chasing Treble while pelting him with wadded up and shreaded scripts.